Home / thesuperficial.com rss archive / August-26-2007


Bridget Moynahan gives birth
Even if you were hiding under a rock yesterday, you probably caught wind of this. But just in case, Bridget Moynahan announced the birth of her baby boy to Celebrity Baby Blog. The father is New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady who ditched Bridget in December for a Victoria Secrets model right after he found out she was pregnant. You just dont get more American than that: Star football player ditches actress after knocking her up then nails a lingerie model. If Tom Brady went to Washington D.C. right now, Lincolns statue would give him a high-five while jet fighters flew overhead. What a great day for America. Nothing could ruin this moment.UPDATE: Tom Bradys one-day-old son already hates football and wants to play the oboe.

Anne Hathaway isn't quite famous enough
Last weekend, Anne Hathaway reportedly had to wait 20 minutes outside Flavio Briatore's Billionaire club in Sardinia before somebody finally recognized her and let her in. Page Six reports:While Russian heiresses Anna and Angelina Anisimova sipped cocktails inside, spies said Hathaway and her real estate mogul boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri, stood outside, "waiting for someone to finally recognize her and let them in."I guess it's sad nobody recognized her, but the real issue of the story remains: when did Anne Hathaway start dating her dad? And when did her dad become Jon Lovitz? I'm guessing it's about the same time Anne turned into a ghost.

Hayden Panettiere causes milk explosion literally
Hayden Panettiere will be featured in an upcoming Got Milk? ad. People Magazine provided these details: You don't have to be a hero to feel invincible. That's why I drink milk, she says in the ads, part of a campaign to get teens to drink three glasses of low-fat or fat-free milk a day. The ads, debuting Sept. 10, were shot in May by famed photographer Annie Leibovitz and show Panettiere in a sleek red dress holding an exploding glass of milk. This picture represents everything that is good and pure in the world. I feel like a small child waking up and scampering down the stairs to see his presents for the first time on a snowy, Christmas morning. Except, now, the tree is in my pants.

Bill Murray arrested for golf cart DUI
Bill Murray was stopped by Swedish police yesterday for drunkenly driving his golf cart back to his hotel. Reuters reports: Murray was brought to Norrmalm police station, in the north of the city, and given a blood test for alcohol after he refused to take a breath test, said station commander Jan-Olov Lundgren. The American had been stopped while driving the golf cart from Cafe Opera, an upscale restaurant in the center of town, back to his hotel.A golf cart is one of two vehicles you should be allowed to drive drunk. The thing goes three feet a minute. If you hit somebody with one, they pretty much deserved it for having the reflexes of a tuna sandwich. Whats the other vehicle I think you should be allowed to drive drunk? A speeder-bike from Return of the Jedi. I cant go into the details due to pending litigation, but it basically involves myself, an Ewok and a Mai-tai the size of a dishwasher.

Lindsay Lohan charged with double DUIs
While Lindsay Lohan may have ducked felony cocaine charges, she was charged today with seven misdemeanors, including two counts of driving under the influence and misdemeanor possession of coke. TMZ says: Lohan, who was busted twice since Memorial Day weekend, was charged with two counts of driving under the influence. If convicted of both, she'd face a minimum of four days in jail. If a felony were filed, Lohan could have faced several years in state prison. TMZ goes on to explain why Lindsay only received a misdemeanor drug charge: In Lohan's case, the fact that she was busted twice in a short period of time actually helped her. It shows someone is struggling with an addiction problem. The fact that each time she was busted, she immediately checked into a rehab facility also helped her case. Also, her age - 21 - and the fact that her upbringing was extremely unstable - also worked in her favor. It really says a lot when the law enforcement community agrees that Dina Lohans...

Britney Spears' new single is magic
In case you haven't already heard it, Ryan Seacrest played Britney Spears' new single on his 102.7 KIISFM radio show this morning. And yeah, it's bad. And I don't mean, "Hey, it's Britney Spears, let's say her new song is bad even if it isn't" bad. I mean, "Hey, this is really bad, how do you turn it off, and also shoot me in the face" bad. You can listen to the new single here and check out the lyrics here:Everyday, Im in a dazeLooking for that someoneAnd everyday, I sit and kneel and prayOh, sweet love, can I get some?So why do you desert me, baby boy?I need your love right now!And if you desert me, baby boyDont you leave me in your crowd[Talking]Hey baby, what time you gonna get home?Oh, really?[Sigh]Alright, well, Ill see you later, thenOh, waitWould you mind getting someYeah, when you come homeYeah, thats itI love you tooBye[Singing again]Some day when you see my faceYou will think that you have wonAnd some day when its all awayOur love just begunSo why did you desert me,...

Lindsay Lohan gets one day in jail
Lindsay Lohan has struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI and will serve 10 days community service and one day in jail (the minimum sentence of four days was cut in half by the judge, and she was also credited one day for the time served when she was arrested). Lindsay also pleaded guilty to two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance and pled no contest to reckless driving. The judge ordered Lindsay to serve 36 months probation and attend an alcohol education program for 18 months, as well as enroll in a drug program and "not to associate with people with controlled substances." Lindsay issued the following statement:"It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the...

Paris Hilton shops for baby gifts
While Nicole Richie was busy serving a minute in jail, Paris Hilton went baby-gift shopping for Nicole. People Magazine couldnt resist a good shopping story and has the details: Hilton was an equal-opportunity shopper, choosing gifts in both pink and blue. Among the items she bought was a Tuni & G Baby set (pants and T-shirt) with the text "Don't Ya Wish Your Mommy Was Hot Like Mine" with the pants bottom saying "Don't Ya." She also bought Babys First Fashion Words book, a Baby Jar Baby Snuggler Blanket and Trumpette socks. She can't wait to hang out with the baby, says the source about Hilton. She's happy Nicole is healthy and thinks she looks great. If Paris really wanted to buy Nicoles baby the perfect gift, I have an excellent suggestion: Buy the kid some new parents. Two normal, healthy, salt-of-the-earth folk who can teach the child to act like weve finally evolved beyond apes that dont require a mountain of cocaine for breakfast. Otherwise were going to end up with another...

Nicole Richie kind of goes to jail
Nicole Richie was to begin her four day sentence Thursday for a December 2006 DUI, but only spent a whopping 82 minutes in jail before being released. Reuters reports: A spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department said federal sentencing guidelines dealing with jail overcrowding allowed local officials to reduce the time for Richie and other inmates with similar charges. Richie, 25, was treated in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence, Deputy Sheriff Maribel Rizo said, reading from a statement. Richie, the daughter of singer Lionel Richie and a co-star with Paris Hilton on reality TV series "The Simple Life," surrendered to local authorities in the afternoon and was booked, processed and released about one hour and 20 minutes later, Rizo said. The deputy did not know whether Richie had actually spent any time in a jail cell. I'm practically dizzy with the shining examples of celebrity justice these past couple of days. We are truly to the...

Zac Efron likes juice and crappy cars
These are pics of the latest teen heart-throb Zac Efron leaving a juice bar and getting into his Oldsmobile. Im not a 15-year-old girl, so this kid is completely off my radar. That being said, I do have an advanced degree in straight-male behavior which Zac Efron has demonstrated not a single iota of. See how I used the word iota back there? That makes my statement so full of fact it just impregnated your dad. Photos: Splash

Kirsten Dunst gets robbed
Two burglars reportedly sneaked into Kirsten Dunst's suite at the Soho Grand Hotel after she left to go film a scene for her new movie and stole her $13,000 handbag, wallets, cash, cameras, and an iPod. And how did these master thieves manage to pull off the crime of the century? They walked in through an open door. The Post reports:Beinerman took a guest elevator to the floor below Dunst's suite and then took a freight elevator up to the penthouse level.There, Beinerman allegedly walked through an open door into the penthouse and stole items belonging to Dunst and her companions, including $2,500, a Marc Jacobs purse, wallets containing IDs and credit cards, several bags - including one by Balenciaga - two digital cameras, a cellphone and an iPod, records state.It takes balls to rob Kirsten Dunst. Big tough manly balls. Most people would be afraid that she lives under a bridge and eats first born children. But not these two. And what if they timed it wrong and she was still...

Amy Winehouse and her husband fight to the death
Amy Winehouse and her husband basically got into a fist fight last night which left them both bloodied and bruised. Apparently Amy's husband walked in on her cutting herself and about to do drugs with a prostitute when he intervened. The Daily Mail reports:At around 2.30am, said guests, the fight sounded like it had restarted - then Miss Winehouse was seen sprinting down the corridor to the lift, pursued by her badly bleeding husband. One guest who got into the lift to reception at the same time said they started shouting at each other. "Amy was in floods of tears. This guy was screaming at her. She was cowering in the corner and I thought he was going to hit her. When the lift door opened, she took off across the lobby at a real pace. He was chasing after her and was about five paces behind by the time she got to the main hotel entrance."The couple then dashed into the street. An eyewitness said: "Just after 3am, Amy came sprinting out and down the road. She was in a real...

Michael Vick pleads guilty
Michael Vick has agreed to plead guilty to a felony charge for his role in managing an illegal dogfighting ring, and will formally enter his guilty plea Monday. The Smoking Gun reports:As part of a plea deal, the Atlanta Falcons quarterback admitted that his Bad Newz Kennels operation wagered money--which he provided--in pit bull fights. However, "Vick did not gamble by placing side bets on any of the fights," according to a "summary of the facts" that was filed today in court. That document, a copy of which you'll find below, also notes that Vick "was aware" that three of his cohorts killed several dogs that performed poorly in test fighting sessions in mid-2002. The summary reports that "Vick did not kill any dogs at this time." Earlier this year, Vick, and two cronies "agreed to the killing of approximately 6-8 dogs" that fared poorly in testing sessions at his Smithfield, Virginia property. Some of the animals were drowned or hanged, and Vick "stipulated" that the animals...

Jessica Alba has a decent body...I guess
I took a survey of the leading causes that make grown men cry, and Jessica Alba's ass came in at number one, right above a lemon being squeezed into your eye. I don't even know why anymore. I mean she's hot, but she's not that hot. For some reason the idea of Jessica Alba has become infinitely hotter than Jessica Alba herself. She's like a legend now, and tales of her hotness have surpassed her actual hotness. When they talk about her in the future it won't even be her anymore. It'll be tales of a creature so beautiful you have to whisper her name, and every time somebody says it the entire room will go "Oooh" and "Ahhh."

Jenny McCarthy Hawaii bikini pictures
Wonder what Jenny McCarthy's been up to? Of course not. But here she is anyway, vacationing in Hawaii with her boyfriend Jim Carrey. She looks pretty good for a 34-year-old, but that isn't saying much since she's, well, only 34. Plus she was Playboy's 1994 Playmate of the Year. If you told me this was Rosie O'Donnell then yeah, wow, amazing. But this is like showing me a picture of myself and saying, "Dreamy." I know. Duh.