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Jennifer Aniston dating Orlando Bloom or a guy with brown hair
The Sun has some crack reporters on their staff. Im not sure if theyve unearthed some legitimate celebrity gossip or just pulled stuff out of their ass. At any rate, theyre claiming Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were at a resort together in Mexico. Here are the details, I think: Jennifer Aniston has been spotted holidaying in Mexico with a man that looks suspiciously like Lord Of The Rings star Orlando Bloom. Although the photograph is a bit vague, Hollywood gossips are excited about the prospect of a new A-list couple.The picture shows the former Friends beauty photographed sunbathing in a skimpy brown bikini while a topless toned hunk looks on admiringly.A fellow holidaymaker at the luxurious resort said: "They were trying their best to be discreet but it was clear they were together. So Jennifer Aniston is dating a man with brown hair. It might be Orlando Bloom or it might not be. You know what? Im just going to start making stuff up too. This just in: Jennifer Aniston...

Britney Spears will probably get her kids back
Listen up. Send the piata back. Cancel the caterers. Britney Spears will probably get her kids back soon. Her lawyers talked to the press today about the reasons for the temporary loss of custody, and it looks like things arent that scandalous. Reuters reports: Spears's attorney, Sorrell Trope, told People magazine that they were not able to prove compliance."Specifically the judge ordered that by 10 a.m. (Monday) morning, both parties show valid California driving licenses. I've been unable to produce evidence of that," he said.Trope said another reason behind the judge's temporary custody ruling "was a claim by Mr. Federline's attorney that she had not complied with a previous order the court had made - before I came on board (as lawyer) -- about having a random drug and alcohol test.""There's no evidence that she actually failed a test," he added.So Britney Spears pretty much couldnt pee in cup or stand in line at the DMV within a reasonable amount of time in order to maintain...

Pamela Anderson might possibly be pregnant
Pamela Anderson may have applied for a marriage license with Rick Salomon for other reasons besides love. Reasons like, oh, I dunno, pregnancy! Ok! Magazine reports: She definitely looks like she's got a bit of a bump, one source tells OK!. And this wouldn't be the first time Pam has rushed off to get married because there's a baby coming. The source is, of course, referring to the rumors that the Baywatch babe's surprise 2006 marriage to Kid Rock happened after she'd been impregnated. While these claims have been denied by the actress, they were bolstered by the fact that she filed for divorce from Kid only 11 days after miscarrying their unborn child. Okay, I look at photos of Pamela Anderson on a daily basis and she doesnt look pregnant at all. Unless shes carrying the child in her breasts. In which case, holy shit somebody start boiling some water these twins are coming out today! Dont worry, Im a doctor, Ill handle this. Im just going to stay here and keep her breasts...

Eva Longoria can fit in tiny spaces
To make up for, well, the worst sex tape ever, here's Eva Longoria squeezing through some cars. What's that? You don't understand how Eva Longoria squeezing through cars makes up for anything? Just trust me, it does. And that's a fact. A scientific fact. I've got equations and pie charts scribbled on some napkins to prove it. It's complicated, you wouldn't understand. Far too sciency.

Eva Longoria has the worst sex tape ever
EVA LONGORIA SEX TAPEHere's the alleged Eva Longoria sex tape everybody's been talking about. Although calling it a sex tape would not only be a lie, it'd be a really big lie. The tape was made for Will Ferrel's comedy site Funny Or Die and features Eva Longoria with comedian Eric Christian Olsen. In the video Longoria says: Are you really sure we should be doing this? If it gets out it could be really embarrassing." Her partner then replies: Dont worry baby Im going to put it somewhere safe - like the glovebox of my car. Funny? Meh. Cruel? Definitely. I mean, getting everybody's hopes up about an Eva Longoria sex tape and having it turn out to be this? It's like promising your kid a Wii for Christmas, and then when he comes running down the stairs screaming Santa's name you kick him really hard in the nuts.

Britney Spears isnt even fazed that she lost her kids
So youve just lost your kids because the legal community pretty much agrees that youre a terrible mother, what do you do? Go tanning, silly! And thats exactly what Britney Spears did. The Daily Mail reports: It was business as usual for troubled Britney and the first stop on the singer's agenda - after surrendering her boys Sean Preston, two, and one-year-old Jayden James to their father Kevin's bodyguard - was a visit to Epitome, her favourite Bel Air tanning salon. Afterwards she checked in to the Peninsula Hotel. But, as she made her way inside, two photographers got into a fight - which seemed to amuse the giggling singer no end. But it wasnt all fake-baking and giggles. Britney finally hit up the DMV to get her Louisiana license transferred to California: Then, Britney paid a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles office in Van Nuys, California, where she finally applied for a driving licence and took a written test. Last Friday, Commissioner Gordon banned both Spears...