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Pamela Anderson looks really tired
40-year-old Pamela Anderson hung out with Rick Solomon at Malibu beach yesterday looking weathered as hell. And I can't figure out if she's still hot or not. On the one hand her boobs are still huge. On the other hand she's turning into Gollum. So, you know, it's basically like flipping a coin. More of Pamela Anderson looking confusing after the jump.

Zac Efron thinks hes a serious actor
Zac Efron says his decision to make High School Musical 3 will be decided by the script and not the money. Zac talks to People about his feelings on a third installment: There's so many rumors and speculation, Efron, 19, tells PEOPLE of reports he and costar Vanessa Hudgens are in a salary dispute. I can't believe it. It seems like these days an insider can say anything they want. Instead, Efron says, the cast is in agreement on what it would take to make another movie. There's no feuding with High School Musical, he said at the London premiere of High School Musical 2 on Sunday. I can tell you that if the script is good and if we all agree on a final script, then there's nothing that is going to hold us back from doing it. We have fun making these movies and that's very rare in this business. I didn't realize there was such high-stakes negotiations revolving around High School Musical. Last time I checked it was a low-budget, made-for-TV movie that only airs on the Disney...

Keira Knightley is looking a tad over-weight
Set aside the fact that Im a dynamo in the sack, and, okay, the public park. And any dressing room in an average U.S. retail store. Alright, bottom line, Im the Messiah of Doing It. Regardless of that obvious and verifiable fact, Im absolutely certain Keira Knightley would crumble into a fine powder after I gave her my sermon and a mount. I wish more women would follow her example. Hey, thanks for the sex, and oh, awesome, youre a pile of dust. Wheres my vacuum? Photos: Splash

Eva Longoria wears bikini, almost catches fire
Yeah, she's like 4' 8", but Eva Longoria is crazy hot. According to my calculations, if you threw her in a hospital room filled with terminally ill children, at least half of them would get better. What's that you say? My calculations look like crayon drawings of a dinosaur attacking a city? You clearly know nothing about medicine. I'm almost embarrassed for you.More of Eva Longoria improving the view at Alicante, Spain after the jump.

Hayden Panettiere goes to London
Hayden Panettiere took the Heroes promotional tour to London after a stop in Paris last week. Ive got a great place for her next visit. Its a hot, sweaty, exotic location where large structures are known to forcibly erupt. Thats right. Im talking about Hawaii. Wait, what did you think I was talking about? Wow! You people are unbelievable. I happen to have a special place in my heart for our nations 50th state and I just thought Hayden would enjoy its tropical beauty. Man, you guys are perverts. UPDATE: Okay, fine, so I was referring to my crotch. Hayden, one first-class ticket to my pants is on its way to you. Certified mail. Sign yes for love and my wiener.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will never stop having kids
Brad Pitt told a TV reporter in Italy that he and Angelina Jolie are ready for a fifth child. People reports: It's the most fun I have ever had and also the biggest pain in the ass I have ever experienced," he told reporters at the Venice Film Festival on Sunday. "(But) I love it and I can't recommend it any more highly. When asked by Italian state TV if he and partner Angelina Jolie were ready for a fifth child, Pitt replied: "Yeah, we're ready." Brad says having all the kids around increases his productivity: It makes me much more efficient, he says, because that's the main focus. It makes me feel when I do have time to work, I really do have to focus because there is a really short window to get something done. I am quite pleased by it all. Well, hey, thats nice. Brad and Angie want a big family. I would say something smart here, but Im afraid theyll adopt me. Of course, that means I could feasibly talk Angelina into putting me on a strict, breast-fed diet. Interesting....

Britney Spears is a lady
If I ever had to pick the perfect example of poise and elegance, it would be Britney Spears. She knows how to compose herself in any social setting. Britneys body language in no way ever insinuates that shes about two seconds away from blinding the entire room with her wombat vagina. No, not Britney. Shes a sophisticated woman and class-act all the way. Im not even afraid that my eyes are the slightest movement away from searing pain. Wouldnt even think about it. In fact - oh Christ, she moved! Im blind! Totally blind. Her crotch melted my eyes. Call an ambulance! No, wait, what is Criss Angel doing here? Is he here to cure me with his magic? It looks like hes going over to Britney and Kill me! Kill me now!More pics of Britney at the opening of LAX in Vegas over the weekend after the jump. Check them out if you no longer value your eyesight. Photos: Splash

Heath Ledger and some girl break up
Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams ended their three-year relationship over the weekend. The couple has a daughter Mathilda and friends say the split was amicable. A source close to the couple says: It was rocky for awhile. They did what they could to make it work. Man, I feel sad for poor Michelle Williams. Without Heath Ledger shes officially doomed to obscurity like the rest of the Dawsons Creek cast. It could be worse though. Didnt one of those kids marry a gay guy that believes in aliens? Whats that chicks name again? Sadie Combs? I dont know. If she was important, Id probably have remembered her name. Now who was I talking about? Oh yeah, Heath Ledgers ex, good ol whats-her-face.