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Angelina Jolie buys Zahara a matching purse
Thought Angelina Jolie was different from every other celebrity because she goes around saving the world? Well she's not. She bought her 2-year-old daughter Zahara a white Valentino purse identical to hers. Because, you know, 2-year-olds need purses. And not just any purses. Valentino purses. What, your 2-year-old daughter doesn't have a designer handbag? Oh my God you're a loser. Go get a job or something.

Kevin Federlines lawyer have a secret witness
The Britney Spears/Kevin Federline custody battle is already the circus we knew it would be. Kevins lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan is trying today to get a secret witness to testify against Britney Spears. The witness apparently worked for Britney after she left rehab. TMZ reports: Dennis Wasser, who reps Spears, said, Shame on Mr. Kaplan. How can he let this go on? We're told Kaplan made a play for the witness last Tuesday, but was shut down by the judge. Gloria Allred, who reps the witness, is about to address the court and explain why the judge should consider his testimony in the custody dispute. I have some breaking news: I know the identity of the secret witness. Its Tom Sockington Kevin Federlines sock puppet. Ridiculous, I know, but wait until he delivers his damning testimony. Although, its not so much a testimony, but a declaration under oath of Toms undying love for Cheetos. Because, really, at this point if you were Kevin Federline, wouldnt you be showing off too? He...

Avril Lavigne is an amazing human being
If you can read Avril Lavigne's latest interview with Q Magazine without wanting to head butt your monitor then you're a stronger person than I am. Because I read this thing and all I wanted to do was start head butting monitors. On dealing with her incredible success"Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won't get hassled. But that's OK. I was born to do this, and so I've learned how to cope."On her competition"Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not."On her generosity"I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened, I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant,...

Mary-Kate Olsen doesnt want you to see her bikini
Mary-Kate Olsen wants to be able to hit the beach without fear of predatory bikini shots. While being interviewed about her recurring role on the upcoming season of Weeds, Mary-Kate talked toEntertainment Weekly about her career and the media. Heres what she had to say:On her career with twin sister AshleyIf you look at our career from 21 years ago to today, it was about entertaining a specific audience. It wasn't about acting. It was about pleasing other people and making kids smile.On her latest roleTo say that I got to work with those people - with Mary-Louise Parker! - is a great thing. We did have to change our signs, though. When we were on location, we couldn't have Weeds signs up because we would get stalkerazzi.On the constant media attentionSo every time I see paparazzi, I cover my face so they don't get a picture, and I'm just the mean person who doesn't smile. I would love to be able to swim in the ocean in Malibu. But that is asking for a bikini shot. That's inviting...

Pete Wentz doesnt deserve a witty headline
I usually like to start my morning off with a hot cup of joe. It cures what ails you. On the flip side, I dont like to start the day being slapped in the face with pictures of ass-clown supreme Pete Wentz. Being a generous guy, I thought Id post these and let you share my pain. Im kind of like Santa Claus, but instead of cool presents, I put an anger so black in your heart youll contemplate throwing a puppy into space. Merry Christmas!