Home / thesuperficial.com rss archive / September-12-2007


Kim Kardashian looks different
Maybe I'm just getting old and losing my memory, but did Kim Kardashian always look like this? What happened to her lips? Did she get lip lipo? Does that even exist? Because I remember her having lips, and now, well, she doesn't. Was it lip injections? Was it all makeup? How far away is the sun? Is Darryl really going to prom with Jenny? These questions and more, all answered tomorrow on a very special Superficial. A ton more after the jump.

Jenna Jameson...I don't even know
Jenna Jameson walked down the runway for the Heatherette fashion line yesterday. Although looking at these you'd think they were throwing some sort of circus horror show. Everything about her frightens me. I'd rather have sex with an angry porcupine than with Jenna Jameson. An angry porcupine with rabies. And on fire.

Vanessa Hudgens still wears bikinis
I'm pretty sure these pictures of Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are old, but I didn't see them until today so I'm putting them up anyway. Besides, Vanessa's lawyers made me take down her nude pictures, so this is my way of saying sorry to you guys. You can't tell, but I'm also making a sad puppy face and I bought you a box of chocolates. And yeah, maybe the box is empty, but really, isn't that the chocolate's fault for being so delicious? I think it is, my friends. I think it is.

Adrian Grenier protects his goods
Adrian Grenier was spotted making out with Paris Hilton in Vegas over the weekend. However, Adrian already regrets this ridiculously stupid mistake and has no desire to put his testicles in harms way. NY Daily News reports: Adrian is resistant because this is Paris Hilton, says a spy. She's way more into him and was all over him. But he's being good and hasn't slept with her. They did make out, and Adrian felt that was too much. Hilton's rep insists that the two are nothing more than friends. Adrian Grenier truly lives on the edge. Some guys go sky-diving. Others scale Mt. Everest. Vincent Chase here rests his balls on the precipice of Herpes Canyon. Im actually impressed. I battle forest fires without a shirt on, but what this guy does is sheer madness. Youre walking a razors edge, Mr. Chase. Try not to get cut - in the crotch.

Britney Spears is a fat pig
What's that? Not enough updates about Britney Spears and her VMA performance? Well here's some more, you greedy bastards. Us reports that after her performance, Britney ran off stage screaming that she looked like a fat pig, and was so awkward during her performance because she could see herself on monitors. She was also able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium, a backstage source tells Us Weekly. She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig! She was inconsolable.Has she not taken a shower in three years? Or looked in a mirror? What exactly was she expecting to see? It's not like she had grown a tail and had a robotic arm. "Oh my gah, wuh happened to me? *munch munch munch* Why I look so fat? *munch munch munch* It must be special effects. *munch munch munch* I love Cheetos."

Britney Spears blames her hair
People are still looking for excuses as to why Britney Spears' MTV Video Music Awards performance was so bad, and now they're blaming her hair. Apparently Britney and her hair dresser Ken Paves (also Jessica Simpson's hair dresser) had "creative differences" backstage right before Britney was scheduled to perform and Paves ended up walking out on her. Us reports:Spears, 25, ended up doing her own hair after abruptly dismissing Pavs (Jessica Simpsons go-to glam guy) just 30 minutes before she took the stage. Ken was in the middle of doing her hair, and she just said, Youre really annoying me! Get out, says the source.Pavs gave Us a more polite version: I did go to Las Vegas to work with Britney. However, once there, I made the professional decision not to do her hair for the VMAs.But a second backstage staffer gives a different account. There were creative differences with the hair guy and he left. That was stressful.Not only that, Vegas Confidential claims Britney wanted to...

Victoria Beckham is a walking doll
Victoria Beckham is pretty much made entirely of plastic. Shes like a blow-up doll that can talk back. And nobody wants that. Especially me. I tried to return her to the adult bookstore, but her husband David Beckham showed up. He was yelling all kinds of stuff about kidnapping, defiling his wife, but I couldnt understand his weird British talk. I told him I just wanted my $50 back and, unless he wanted to taste the sweet strength of my tree trunk arms, he best step back. Sure enough, he cowered in the corner and started licking a soccer ball. For such are his ways. This story totally happened. Except for the $50 part. I only paid $20.A bunch more shots after the jump.

Hayden Panettiere hugs a dude named Sarah Silverman
Hayden Panettiere arrived back in LA after attending the VMAs in Vegas. As she walked to her car, the paparazzi asked her if she thought Sarah Silvermans jokes affected Britney Spears performance. Hayden suggested they ask Sarah Silverman. And, bam, there he was. The two happened to be on the same flight. Sarah held his stance that nobody heard the jokes until he gave them after Britneys performance. It looks like Britney Spears has no one to blame but herself. And the guy who invented margaritas.A video of the incident and a bunch more shots of Hayden after the jump.NOTE: Somebody just tried to tell me that Sarah Silverman is a chick. Ha, thats rich. Seriously, I havent laughed so hard in my life. Sarah Silvermans a girl - hilarious!