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Rose McGowan has fairy-tale engagement
Rose McGowan and director Robert Rodriquez are engaged. Page Six has the details:Spies in L.A. report she's been showing off a new diamond engagement ring from director Robert Rodriguez. McGowan met Rodriguez on the set of "Grindhouse" when he directed her as a peg-legged ex-stripper in his half of the double feature, "Planet Terror." He was soon divorcing his wife. That is hands-down the most awesome engagement story Ive ever heard. Just imagine telling that to your kids: Mom, how did you meet dad? Well, honey, he made a movie where I played a stripper with a machine-gun leg. Also, his wife at the time was the producer. So she pretty much paid your father to do me in a trailer off-set. Now run along and play, dear. If that's not true romance, I don't know what is. I'm surprised Disney hasn't given them their own animated movie.

Debra Messing knows how to dress
Debra Messing was spotted shopping around Los Angeles wearing whatever the hell you would call this. Clearly "dress" isn't the proper word here. I'm not even sure if "clothes" fits. This is what you'd get if you pulled a blind man out of the jungle and asked him to design a dress, keeping in mind that he has no idea what a dress is and also he's blind. She could be wearing a vacuum cleaner on her head and she'd look less ridiculous.

Britney Spears is starving herself
Life is so awesome for Britney Spears. On top of yesterdays custody rulings, her manager quitting and the VMA train wreck, it turns out she might be bulimic as well. Friends of the star are concerned about her eating habits, according to Ok! Magazine: OK! can report that friends of the beleaguered pop star are worried sick that her starve-and-bing relationship with food may be pushing her even deeper into despair.Britney told me, Ill starve myself because Im fat, one friend of the singer reveals to OK!. She kept telling me she thought I was fat and disgusting. Did that quote make sense to anybody? Does Britney think shes fat, or does Britney think her friend is fat? Or are they both fat? We know Britney is. And shes not starving herself, because otherwise shed be, I dunno, a lot thinner. So Britney is calling her friend fat, right? Wait, whats this, it turns out Britneys friend is a Big Mac. It all makes sense now. Britney is the fat one and crazy. Glad that's figured out.

Petra Nemcova is a blessing, a HOT blessing
While some celebrities are doing drugs, neglecting their kids and committing armed robbery, Petra Nemcova is just causing erections. How pure and refreshing is that? Youre having a rough day, your boss is on your case and, oh, here comes Petra to give you a boner. Some might say shes more of a saint than Mother Teresa. And by some, I mean me. And my penis.

UPDATE: Britney Spears must take drug tests, parenting classes
Britney Spears has been ordered to take randomized drug tests in order to maintain custody of her children. On top of that she must seek counseling and see a parenting coach. NY Daily News reports: Based on the evidence presented, the court finds that there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by [Spears], he wrote in his nine-page ruling. The judge ordered the 25-year-old to undergo random drug testing twice a week - and get a parenting coach. Kevin Federline didnt come out of the ruling without a few dings either: K-Fed and Brit are barred from consuming alcohol or drugs within 12 hours of when they are scheduled to take care of their children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.They also have to hire a parenting coach to evaluate them and report back to the court, and they must enroll in a Parenting Without Conflict program within five days.The battling exes are due back in court Nov. 26. I would love to be a fly on the wall at...

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise want another baby
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are ready for a second child. The timing couldnt be more perfect since Katie's schedule is wide-open. Though I heard she almost got a part the other day, until Tom Cruise kicked the director in the shins. Which was basically his only option because, you know, he's a midget. Ok! Magazine reports: Its something they want to do sooner rather than later, a source from Toms Berlin Rubicon set tells OK!. Suri has been such a joy for Tom, so hed be more than happy to have another girl. Katie feels the same. Remember, long ago, that one week when Katie Holmes was smoking hot? Now shes starting to look like a man. Maybe Tom Cruise likes men. It all makes sense! Tom Cruise is a [Editors note: The Superficial, in an effort to avoid legal action, will not publish the rest of this post. In summary, the writer goes on to suggest that Tom Cruise enjoys the sexual company of men. There are no grounds for this statement and no evidence to support the writer's theory....

Britney Spears must take drug tests, parenting classes
Britney Spears has been ordered to take randomized drug tests in order to maintain custody of her children. On top of that she must seek counseling and see a parenting a coach. NY Daily News reports: Based on the evidence presented, the court finds that there is a habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol by [Spears], he wrote in his nine-page ruling. The judge ordered the 25-year-old to undergo random drug testing twice a week - and get a parenting coach. Kevin Federline didnt come out of the ruling without a few dings either: K-Fed and Brit are barred from consuming alcohol or drugs within 12 hours of when they are scheduled to take care of their children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1.They also have to hire a parenting coach to evaluate them and report back to the court, and they must enroll in a Parenting Without Conflict program within five days.The battling exes are due back in court Nov. 26. I would love to be a fly on the wall...